The Important Blog

Rejoice and give thanks because after a month or so on my tropical Island with my huge circle of friends and a bevy of scantily clad lovelies (on me of course), I have returned newed and invigorated and look forward to passing on more of my wisdom to the slack jawed bottom feeders (aka normal people) who enjoy my blog.

Now, I’ve noticed a worrying trend that I would like to raise and discuss if you don’t mind (and it’s tough if you do) and that pictures of women being drunk

Now. Obviously I don’t travel on trains, but one of my underlings sent me a text this morning (being a kind and generous boss that I am, I do tend to allow them to text me, call me by my first name etc.)

Now, I don’t know about you, but I enjoy a fine cigar now and again. I enjoy the mellow taste, sophisticated aroma and sense of wellbeing that only comes from sucking on something that you know has been between a fat Cuban woman’s thighs. It just makes everything seem right with the world.

I’ve had a mail through asking me what my name is, and although as my good friend Shakespeare said “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” I realise that just refering to myself as “The Important Man” is creating a rift between myself and my readers raising me up above them

Now, I have a problem, perhaps some of my readers can help.

Now obviously when you’re as important and wise as I am, many people come to you for advice and I thought instead of getting Thomson to reply to them all, including a signed glossy 6 by 4, I would take the time out of my busy schedule to actually reply personally to a few of the mails I have recieved.

Have you ever been out of an evening, perhaps enjoying time with friends in the VIP section of a top London night club (as I often do) when a woman catches your eye amongst the plebs below and of course being a gentleman of standing, I ask my gentleman’s gentleman who for the sake of this exercise I will call “Thomson” to ask the young lady if she would like to join me for a beverage.

How come it still looks like a standard wordpress install?

Now, when you’re as important, intelligent and good looking as I am, it’s obvious that people that have been lucky enough to meet me in the past will clamour for my attention.